If there are people you know who act on and talk about and assume certain things about you that are not in line with who you want to be … and what you want to accomplish – whatever they are – then you might be feeling like you are walking through life in quicksand. You are fighting to hold your head high but feeling pulled down.
Now imagine what it would be like if you turned it around and began hanging out with people who already have what you want and have the success traits that you aspire to duplicate?
Do you feel that load being lifted? Do feel that feeling of self – empowerment?
I have found that surrounding myself with giving, caring, supportive, successful, positive, happy and motivated people has been the number one reason for the contentment and peace and yes…success… in my life. The fact is some people make you feel better, lift you up, inform and entertain, while others seem to be on a mission to depress, annoy, and enrage. Sorting the edifying from the toxic is a habit to get into early and often!
Here are a few tips to Build a Positive Circle of Friends and Associates:
- Read and follow people who inspire or motivate you
- Surround yourself with positive influences rather than people who bring you down
- Do not get drawn into protracted debates or arguments
- Block people who routinely aggravate you
- Avoid scenarios where you get drawn into negativity
- Seek out people who are succeeding at what you want to do and observe how they behave and think
- Find the learning opportunity in every interaction
“Your choice of people to associate with, both personally and business-wise, is one of the most important choices you make. If you associate with turkeys, you will never fly with the eagles.”
What You Can Do?
Ask yourself; are there any turkeys in your life? Ready- Aim – Set them free…..
There are 3 things you can begin doing immediately to help in this area:
1. Take a look at your current relationships and determine whether they are supportive and enriching or toxic and destructive. A clue here is to examine how you feel about yourself when around various people.
2. If you identified any relationships which are not mutually supportive and do not empower you, or that drain your energy and make you feel bad about yourself, take steps to distance yourself from the people involved – FAST! This is a stumbling block for many people – the crossing of the bridge between what they know, and what they say they want. It’s not easy to leave familiar things behind, especially people, and this is a real sticking point. It may not be comfortable at first, but neither is hanging out with “turkeys”.
3. Make a plan to change yourself. Become the giving, positive, motivated, success focused person you want others to be and concentrate on developing only relationships which are enriching, supportive and empowering of this side of you!
4. Join groups, clubs, classes etc where the people who have your interests are most likely to be. Be pro-active in sending out invites to new people to get to know them.
5. Take a super successful person to lunch once a month. Tell them you are looking to get to know eagles and you see them as someone you would like to get to know. At lunch, ask that person what they think are the key(s) to their success. Get to know them. And most importantly, ask if there is anything you can do to support their goals.
6. Be a Giver of acceptance, affirmative words, encouragement and avoid dragging others down with negative words and your own bad attitude. You will have more people wanting to be in your circle than you have enough hours in the day for.
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
— Source Unknown
The bottom line is this – if there are people in your life that drain your energy, make you feel badly about yourself or hold you back, then you must take appropriate action… and quickly! I’m not saying the transition will be easy for you. However, in the big picture this change will impact your life more dramatically than any other.
Another one of my favorite inspirational quotes is from Charles DuBois, who said:
“The important thing is this: To be able to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.”
By Tamera Aragon
Fly with the eagles and be free!